The ‘Impressive’ Monk (Sequel to “The Snobbish Monk”)
In The Snobbish Monk , an article I wrote in 2013, I talked about seeing deeply the root of all my efforts to feel good about myself: a defective sense of self, the idea that I wasn’t good enough. I was trying to feel good about myself because I didn’t feel good about myself. Seeing that was crucial to being free from that stressful pattern, but not enough for me to actually be free from it. I also needed to consciously change the behaviour that was part of the pattern. In other words, I had to choose to stop trying to feel good about myself. Easier said than done. The urge to repeat the pattern came up again and again, but this time I was clear about what’s better for me. A major behaviour I needed to stop was looking for people to help. I recall times when the mind was actively looking for people to ‘save’. Why? So that I could be ‘the hero’ and feel good about myself. I needed to catch that urge, and remind myself not to do it. Volunteeri...