Wise Awareness (Kumāra Bhikkhu's Blog)

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The Snobbish Monk

March 05, 2026

(Written in 2013, re-edited in 2026) At the feedback session of a course I conducted in 2011, a participant commented that I had “changed a lot”. He told the audience that when he first met me in 2007, he found me quite snobbish. In my mind, that was one of the best compliments I had ever received, and it still is. There were other nice things that he said about me, but that first comment had already made my day. No doubt, I had been rather snobbish, although it didn’t seem so to me then. Whenever I think of this, I feel grateful for the change that has happened. I sometimes also feel a bit strange; the person that I was seems so remote now. “Snobbish” was what that man thought of me back then. I think he was being kind. “Arrogant” would have been more accurate. That’s the word my teacher, Bhante Aggacitta, used used to describe me. He said it many times, yet I couldn’t see how I was so. Perhaps it was impossible for me to see it, because I had ‘become’ it. Just as the eye can’t s...

A Monk’s Airport Predicament

January 28, 2026

It was year 2000. I, as a very young monk, travelled with a group of monks and laypeople to Thailand. Almost all of them left after a week, while I stayed for a month. On my way back alone, while transiting through Bangkok’s airport, I found myself in a predicament. After long hours of waiting for my connecting flight, I finally got my boarding pass at the check-in counter. When I got to the security checkpoint, I showed the official there my boarding pass, and she asked, “Airport tax?” “Airport tax?” I asked in return. “Please pay at the airport tax counter and get a coupon.” “Uh-oh….” Anxiety began to rise within me. I told the nice lady nicely that I didn’t have any money, hoping she would think, “Oh, silly me. He’s a monk. He’s not suppose to have money,” and let me through. It didn’t work. The matter was plain and simple: no money, no entry. She suggested that I return to the check-in counter. “Ah, good idea,” I thought, since I had no idea what to do. Back at the counter, I expla...

How to Reduce ADHD Symptoms Through Meditation

December 19, 2025

As a meditator and a person with ADHD, I’ve learnt that the proper kind of meditation can reduce ADHD symptoms. The following are steps based on my personal experience: 1. Learn Mindfulness Meditation First, you need to learn how to practice mindfulness meditation. See here: ADHD-Friendly Way to Meditate . It’s a direct way to strengthen your working memory. 2. Relaxation Exercise Once you can be mindful about 30% of the day, you’re ready for the next step: Sit or lie down. Feel your body. Breathe, and relax. Bear in mind that the point is not the breathing, but the relaxation. Wherever you notice tension in your body, see how you can allow it to relax naturally as you breathe in and out. The mind and body are connected; so when the body calms down, the mind calms down too. 3. Observe the Subtle Manifestations of ADHD Once you have mastered the two steps above, you will begin to notice the subtler signs of ADHD—the physical restless energy, the mental un...

Why No Chanting Sessions in My Meditation Retreats?

December 14, 2025

Some laypeople express surprise that there’s no chanting sessions in my retreats—but their reaction doesn’t surprise me. Chanting is practically a standard item in organized Buddhist retreats in Malaysia. So why do I leave it out? During the Buddha’s time, lay Buddhists didn’t chant either. Even when observing the eight precepts on uposatha days, they do so without any recitation. Monastics did chant, but mainly to memorize and preserve the Buddha’s teachings—which isn’t why most laypeople chant today. In fact, they often don’t even understand the words they’re reciting. Nowadays, people chant for a few common reasons: To occupy the mind with something soothing, so that it can settle; but sometimes so that they can forget their suffering. To satisfy the belief that by chanting they gain merits. To cultivate a sense of community in temples or monasteries. I don’t include chanting in my retreats because: I want my students to have maximum opportunity t...

A Boy Who Needed a Reason to Study

December 02, 2025

Once, a woman brought an 11-year-old boy to see me. She said, “This son of mine doesn’t want to study. He keeps playing. Can you help me?” I noticed that he had an intelligent look. So, I said to him, “When you grow up, you have to work, right?” He nodded. “So, what kind of work would you like to do?” As he was thinking, I said, “You don’t have to tell me now. Go home and take your time to think about it. Then write it down on a piece of paper. If there’s more than one kind of work you’re interested in, that’s okay. But don’t write more than five, okay?” He said, “Okay.” They came again the next week, and he had a piece of paper in his hand. I asked the mother if he showed it to her. She said no. I said to him, “So, what have you written?” He handed me the piece of paper. First on the list was “plumber”. I said, “Okay, honestly speaking, if you want to be a plumber, you don’t have to study a lot. But you do need to know some language, so that you can read labels and write bills. Also, ...

A Deeply Unhappy Young Engineer

December 02, 2025

A girl I’ve never met before came to my retreat. Though only 22 years old, she was already an engineer—a deeply unhappy one. After a few interviews with her, I found out why she was so happy: She had not been allowed to play. Her job as a kid was only to study and study and study. “Go and play,” I said to her. “I don’t know how to play anymore!” she replied angrily. “Play with children. Observe and learn from them.” She looked at me while seemingly thinking. After a while, she said, “Okay.” That evening, I saw her squatting by the roadside, picking little flowers. She seemed pretty happy.

I Found a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

November 16, 2025

Some months ago, a woman I had met only a few times (let’s call her MC) told another woman, “Did you notice that when Bhante spoke to you just now, he seemed to have some opinion against you?” The next morning, the other woman (who had been my main supporter for over a year; let’s call her CC) came to ask me if what MC said was true. I was perplexed. I recalled merely agreeing to CC asking to borrow something. How could that be interpreted as me having an opinion against her? I told her no and asked, “Did it seem to you like I had any opinion against you?” She said it didn’t seemed that way to her either. Then she added that MC had also said something against two other women. To keep it simple, MC claimed those women had done something to hurt CC. Knowing those two women fairly well, I found the story nonsensical and completely out of character for them. “That friend of yours is dangerous!” I said. “Actually, I don’t know her very well. I only got closer to her recently.” “...

Possible Case of Spirit Possession

November 02, 2025

Occasionally, people ask me whether I’ve had any ghostly encounter. I usually attribute such “encounters” to psychological issues, but there were a couple of occasions where I believed otherwise. Once after a food dāna, there was a commotion. Curious, I went over to see. A woman was sitting on the floor, speaking loudly in Mandarin in the manner of a little kid. Her elder sister whom I knew well was present. She told me her sister actually didn’t know Mandarin, and spoke only Hokkien and Cantonese. While I was trying to assess the situation, the “little kid” woman said to me, “你说要带我去的嘛, 你都没有带我去!” (“You said you’ll take me there, and you didn't!”) I asked, “去哪里?” (“Where?”) “去西方极乐世界嘛!” (“To the Western World of Ultimate Bliss (Pureland) mah!”) At this point I was pretty sure she mistook me for someone else. Anyway, I decided to assume that this was a case of spirit possession, and asked the elder sister for the woman’s name. Having gotten her name, I called her by her name and asked...

6 Ways You May Have Misunderstood or Mis-practised Buddhism

October 27, 2025

Buddhism is meant to reduce—and even end—suffering. Yet, its teachings have been misunderstood and mis-practised as coping mechanisms to avoid facing suffering, thereby preventing its ending. Here are some insidious ways this can happen: 1. Focusing on Making Merit for a Better Next Life Some Buddhists believe they can’t change their present life unhappiness because it’s the result of past karma. They think their only hope is to accumulate as much merit as possible in this life to secure a better next life. This view discourages them from seeking help and making necessary changes to alleviate suffering now. Worse, this mindset has been exploited by unethical ‘Buddhists’ for personal gain. 2. Justifying Escapism Some misuse Buddhist concepts to justify escapism. They call their escapism “letting go” or “detachment”. With that, they avoid difficult conversations, withdraw from relationships, or neglect personal responsibility—creating a false sense of peace. 3. Avoiding Painful Emo...

Assertiveness as Proper Speech: Finding Your Voice with Wisdom

October 12, 2025

Part 1: Assertiveness Aligns with Proper Speech Many people have trouble with being assertive. If you’re Buddhist, you might even regard assertiveness as a form of wrong speech. However, assertiveness actually aligns with the Buddhist concept of proper speech (sammā-vācā). Proper speech isn’t just about not saying certain things—it’s also about saying certain things. If merely not saying certain things counts as proper speech, then someone in a coma would be practising it perfectly. When you should say something but don’t say it, you’ll suffer in one way or another. For example, if a colleague takes advantage of you by making you do their work, what do you do? You might stay silent and keep doing their work. You might tell yourself, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” But is it really okay? Thoughts can lie, but feelings don’t. If you allow things to stay unchanged, you’ll eventually either explode or implode . Exploding means suddenly yelling at the person bullying you. Imploding mea...

How to Stop Doing Things We Regret

October 06, 2025

We’ve all done it before: doing something we regret later. Yet, even if we tell ourselves not to repeat it, we may still do. It might be losing our temper over a minor matter. It might be binging on food or the Internet. It can be anything but has one thing in common: no matter how badly we want to stop, we simply can’t. Do you struggle with this? If so, keep reading. But, if you’re not truly ready to change yet, then better stop reading this and go do something else. Seriously—don’t waste your time. Hmm... You’re still reading. So you really want to stop? The Steps Okay. Here’s how: Identify the triggers. What situations lead to that regrettable behaviour? Write them down. (E.g., having nothing to do, arguing with your spouse.) Find the common thread. What feeling do these situations share? (E.g., restlessness, sadness.) Try to understand the feeling. Don’t just label it generally as “stress” or “boredom.” Look closer— What is this really about?...

How To Be Yourself

October 02, 2025

I’ve written about the importance of being yourself . In that article, I gave four examples: You’re not feeling confident. Then don’t act as if you’re confident. You don’t know. Then don’t act as if you know. You want something. Then don’t act as if you don’t want it. You’re offended by a joke. Then don’t act as if you’re okay with it. Using these examples, let’s explore how to be yourself. What If You Just Can’t Be Yourself? Firstly, what if no matter how hard you try, you just can’t be yourself? That’s okay. Don’t force yourself to change. Forcing it won’t work and might even backfire. The solution is simple: When you notice that you’re not being yourself, just observe your behaviour and how it feels. Doing this will gradually shift your mindset in a profound way, and the pretending will fade naturally. When that happens, you can come back and read the rest of this article. Regarding the First Two Examples In the first two examples (a...

Kumāra Bhikkhu's Profile & Teaching Channels

September 22, 2025

This page is no longer updated. For the most updated version, click here . Teaching Channels Facebook (2-way teaching & announcements) WhatsApp (1-way teaching & announcements) Instagram (1-way teaching) Xiaohongshu (1-way teaching) Mailing List (announcements only) Publications (English & 中文 ebook/ebooklet/ebrochure) English Blog | 中文博客 Dhamma talk recordings: Spotify | SoundCloud Profile Ordained in 1999 under Sayadaw U Revata at the age of 27, Bhante Kumāra (古玛拉) is a Buddhist monk and teacher known for his pragmatic approach to the path of liberation.His spiritual path has been profoundly influenced by two monastic teachers: Bhaddanta Aggacitta Mahāthera , who provided a foundation in the Vinaya, Suttas, and Pāli language, while emphasizing a timeless principle: Value any teaching that leads to the end of suffering. ...

Respecting Your Parents’ Dying Wish

September 21, 2025

Occasionally, I hear stories like this: An elderly person is in a hospital, saying he wants to go home. Maybe he is sick of being in the hospital, maybe he’s dying and prefers to die at home, or maybe he simply misses home. Whatever the reason, his desire is clear—he wants to go home. However, his children insist that he stays on. If you were that person, how would you feel? In the children’s minds, keeping him in the hospital is better—until he recovers. But will he recover? No one knows. What everyone does know is that he wants to go home. Now, imagine you’re one of the children. What would you do? Suppose you want him to remain hospitalized. Ask yourself: Why? Who is this decision truly for—especially when his wish is clear? Is it really for him ? I understand your hope for his recovery. I understand your fear that his condition might worsen at home. And I understand your fear of losing him. But let me remind you: Death is certain. He will die—either in the hospital, agains...

Creating Conditions for Better Dhamma Practice in Daily Life

September 04, 2025

Have you tried to practice the Dhamma in daily life but found it difficult? While we may say that Dhamma practice can be done anytime and anywhere, in the modern world, finding the mental space for it can be challenging. The good news? We can create conditions to make Dhamma practice easier for ourselves. Here’s how. 1. Simplify Your Life The modern world enables us to do many things, but we may end up overwhelmed by too many things to do. It makes sense to evaluate what’s truly important and let go of what doesn’t truly matter . Doing so minimizes rushing, allowing our minds to be more at ease. 2. Limit Digital Distractions Without a doubt, the greatest source of distraction today is the digital world. While it’s hard to live without technology, we must admit that excessive screen time disrupts Dhamma practice. Set boundaries —designate phone-free hours, limit social media use, and avoid mindless scrolling. Use technology wisely. 3. Set Aside Dedicated Time for Meditation Let’...

Should People with Mental Illness or Trauma Meditate?

August 28, 2025

It is common among meditation communities to believe that people with mental illness or trauma should not meditate, as it might worsen their condition or cause them to relive their trauma. While I understand this concern, I find this view to o extreme. The matter actually depends on two factors: What is the kind of meditation practised? Is the student properly taught? What is the kind of meditation practised? If the meditation involves deliberate concentration, then I agree that people with mental illness should avoid it. Concentration exaggerates things, and since people with mental illness already tend to exaggerate things, developing concentration is very risky for them. If, however, the meditation is about cultivating awareness, complete with right view and right attitude, then it is quite safe for them to meditate—even on their own. In fact, a student of mine who had Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID, more ...

How To Not Feel Hurt When Criticized

August 21, 2025

Although some people believe they can choose not to feel hurt when criticized, the reality is that most people can’t help but feel hurt. If you struggle with this, this article is for you. First, let me explain why criticism feels painful: If someone pokes you where there is no wound, would it hurt? No. But what if there is a wound? It would hurt, wouldn’t it? In fact, even a gentle touch on the wound can still be painful. Similarly, if someone criticizes you when you have a psychological wound that is sensitive to criticism, you’ll feel hurt. Even a gentle remark about a fault may hurt. But if no such wound exists, criticism won’t affect you. As long as the psychological wound remains in you, getting criticized will hurt. Therefore, the key to not feeling hurt is to heal the wound . Here’s what you need to do: Notice your reacti on w hen criticized. Do you do anything behaviourally (e.g., finding something to eat) to avoid feeling hurt? Do you fight back verbally or ...

Why Some Buddhists Grow Spiritually—and How You Can Too

August 14, 2025

Have you noticed that some Buddhists—lay or monastic—seem to become more peaceful and happier? It may be because they have grown spiritually. What do I mean by that? For lay Buddhists who don’t yet desire the ultimate ending of suffering, the recommended practice is dāna, sīla, and bhāvanā. Dāna (giving) is mentioned first because it’s the easiest to understand and practice, followed by sīla (moral conduct). Bhāvanā is the most challenging, but it is also the most important for becoming more peaceful and happy. In this article, I want to help you understand bhāvanā correctly so that you can practice it and gain its rewards. Bhāvanā Is More Than Meditation Many Buddhists misunderstand bhāvanā as “meditation.” While meditation is a kind of bhāvanā, the scope of bhāvanā is actually far greater. Bhāvanā means “cultivation”—specifically, spiritual cultivation. While meditation cultivates the mind, bhāvanā extends to how we live—how we respond to challenges, treat others, and let go ...

The Importance of Being Yourself

August 07, 2025

You’ve probably heard of this advice: Be yourself. But what does it mean? Are you supposed to look for a “self” to be? Of course not. To put it more clearly, it’s saying, “Don’t pretend to be different from how you really are.” Let me give some examples: You’re not feeling confident. Then don’t act as if you’re confident. You don’t know. Then don’t act as if you know. You want something. Then don’t act as if you don’t want it. You’re offended by a joke. Then don’t act as if you’re okay with it. Does this mean that you should always act out your inner world? No. It simply means don’t act as if the opposite is true. By the way, this advice also doesn’t mean that you should do or say whatever you want. That’s acting impulsively and recklessly. So, now, why should we be ourselves? It’s simple: Not being oneself is pretending. And pretending is stressful. One might say, “In this world, we sometimes do need to pretend.” Yes, sometimes . But that doesn’t take away...

How To Forgive Yourself

August 04, 2025

I’ve said and done things that I later deemed stupid or bad. Perhaps you have too. Should we criticize ourselves for these things? I don’t think so. Why? Because my experience tells me it doesn’t do me any good. Worse, it makes me feel bad—and I suppose it makes you feel bad too. But simply recognizing this isn’t enough to stop us from criticizing ourselves. So how do we stop? How can we forgive ourselves? Forgiveness is about letting go—but letting go of what? The past? The memory? No. It’s about letting go of a belief , such as “I should have done that”, or “I should not have done that”. Do you agree? Now, try asking yourself: Who do you think you are that you shouldn’t have made a mistake? Some kind of special being that never make mistakes? Bring yourself back to that situation. Now, instead of being that person that you were then, be an observer and look at that person: How wise was that person? Was that person’s mind composed? Was that person thi...

Publications by Kumāra Bhikkhu

August 03, 2025

Open Awareness Meditation: a quick introduction What You Might Not Know about Jhāna & Samādhi 20 Meditation Tips Meditation Is Like Riding a Bicycle Meditation Is Seriously Like Riding a Bicycle Meditation Is Like Doing Business Meditation Is Seriously Like Doing Business Why We Should Stop Bringing Youths to Buddhism By Kumāra Bhikkhu’s students: 14 Stories of Growth & Freedom [7 in English...

Releasing Meditation Tension

July 31, 2025

Occasionally, I meet people who have developed mental and physical tension due to having meditated wrongly. If you’re in this situation, let me explain why it happens and how to undo it. The Cause: Wrong Effort Even while believing you’re cultivating wholesome qualities and abandoning unwholesome ones, you might be doing the exact opposite. A common mistake is exerting effort , which is based on mistaken ideas about the practice. When done persistently, this creates deep tension in the body and mind, making it difficult to release. The Solution: Systematic Relaxation At this point, simply abandoning meditation may not help. In fact, if you do that, the tension may worsen due to an uncontrollable resistance to the unpleasant situation. Instead, try this approach: calm the exertion. First of all, stop trying to meditate . Why? In your mind, "meditation" is now associated with exertion and tension . So, it’s better to stop trying to meditate. Instead, think in terms of “se...

How To Deal With People Who Often Criticize You

July 14, 2025

Having people, or even just one person, in your life who is constantly critical of you can be very challenging. It’s possible that they don’t know the harm that they are causing. In any case, you’re the one having a problem and so you’re the one to do something about it. You need to find a suitable way to stop being constantly criticized. You first need to find out why they behave this way . There are a few possible reasons: They have a spoiled entitlement schema . They feel entitled to criticize you. They have an unrelenting standards schema . They can’t stand standards lower than their expectations, which they feel are normal and justified. They have a defectiveness schema . They try to feel better about themselves by putting others down. If they have a spoiled entitlement schema , your chances of getting them to stop is very slim. The only way they would even consider changing their behaviour, is being under the threat of losing something that they want...

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