Wise Awareness (​Kumāra Bhikkhu's Blog)

(Written in 2013, re-edited in 2026) At the feedback session of a course I conducted in 2011, a participant commented that I had “changed a lot”. He told the audience that when he first met me in 2007, he found me quite snobbish. In my mind, that was one of the best compliments I had ever received, and it still is. There were other nice things that he said about me, but that first comment had already made my day.  No doubt, I had been rather snobbish, although it didn’t seem so to me then. Whenever I think of this, I feel grateful for the change that has happened. I sometimes also feel a bit strange; the person that I was seems so remote now. “Snobbish” was what that man thought of me back then. I think he was being kind. “Arrogant” would have been more accurate. That’s the word my teacher, Bhante Aggacitta, used used to describe me. He said it many times, yet I couldn’t see how I was so. Perhaps it was impossible for me to see it, because I had ‘become’ it. Just as the eye can’t s...

It was year 2000. I, as a very young monk, travelled with a group of monks and laypeople to Thailand. Almost all of them left after a week, while I stayed for a month. On my way back alone, while transiting through Bangkok’s airport, I found myself in a predicament. After long hours of waiting for my connecting flight, I finally got my boarding pass at the check-in counter. When I got to the security checkpoint, I showed the official there my boarding pass, and she asked, “Airport tax?” “Airport tax?” I asked in return. “Please pay at the airport tax counter and get a coupon.” “Uh-oh….” Anxiety began to rise within me. I told the nice lady nicely that I didn’t have any money, hoping she would think, “Oh, silly me. He’s a monk. He’s not suppose to have money,” and let me through. It didn’t work. The matter was plain and simple: no money, no entry. She suggested that I return to the check-in counter. “Ah, good idea,” I thought, since I had no idea what to do. Back at the counter, I expla...

This page is no longer updated. For the most updated version,  click here . Teaching Channels Facebook (2-way teaching & announcements) WhatsApp (1-way teaching & announcements) Instagram (1-way teaching) Xiaohongshu (1-way teaching) Mailing List (announcements only) Publications (English & 中文 ebook/ebooklet/ebrochure) English Blog | 中文博客 Dhamma talk recordings: Spotify  |  SoundCloud Profile Ordained in 1999 under Sayadaw U Revata at the age of 27, Bhante Kumāra (古玛拉) is a Buddhist monk and teacher known for his pragmatic approach to the path of liberation.His spiritual path has been profoundly influenced by two monastic teachers: Bhaddanta Aggacitta Mahāthera , who provided a foundation in the Vinaya, Suttas, and Pāli language, while emphasizing a timeless principle: Value any teaching that leads to the end of suffering. ...

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A woman brought her husband to see me regarding his sleeping disorder. “When did it start” I asked. “More than 10 years ago,” he said. “What major thing happened in your life before this started?” “My dad died.” “You felt very sad about it?” He nodded. “You cried a lot?” He nodded. “You then forced yourself not to cry?” He nodded. “And then you had trouble sleeping.” He nodded, and his wife interjected, “That’s it. That’s why I ban him from going to any wake. Even if he just sees a wake happening from afar, surely for the whole night he won’t be able to sleep.” With the matter confirmed, I talked to him about death, helping him to see the reality and inevitability of death. He was very receptive. That was the first and the last time I saw him. But I did meet his wife about a month later, and took the chance to inquire about her husband. She said, “Oh, he can sleep now.”

Part 2:  Getting Closer I Got Into University Somehow and… With my poor grades, I applied to enter university with little faith, but still I got in. That’s because I chose a degree course in education, majoring in teaching English as a second language, and I had a qualification they valued: GCE O-Level English 1119. Soon after getting in, I got involved with the Buddhist society there, and regularly attended the weekly Dhamma talks. In my second year, invited by some senior members, I went for my first ever meditation retreat, which turned out to be a turning point in my life. I practised very hard in the beginning; too hard actually. My mind wouldn’t settle. On the fifth day, I began to relax a little, and that’s when I experienced a calmness I had never felt before. Later, when I thought about the experience, it occurred to me that I had found something that I didn’t even know I was looking for. I had found something that filled up a vacuum in my life. Nagging Thoughts Leadi...

Part 3: Getting Through the Hardest Part How to Get My Parents’ Consent? Becoming a monk requires parental consent. Even if you’re 70 years old, so long as your parents are alive, you still need their consent. So, I had to think about this. Before that, I had to decide whether to end my course, as getting the certificate was unnecessary for the life that I wanted. I spoke to a few monks and they suggested that I finish it up, since it was just half a year to completion. I decided to follow their advice. So, I wasn’t in a hurry to get my parents’ consent then. A few months before the end of my course, my father came over to ask me to join a company which he was setting up with a friend. It obviously meant a lot to him, and I didn’t have the heart to say no. He must have seen my reluctance, and told me that it would be just for a start, and that I could leave later. Reluctantly, I said yes. Immediately after my final exams were over, I went to work with my father. One ...

Part 1: It Started in My Teenage Years From time to time, people ask me why I became a monk. The shortest answer I’ve given was:  Because I want to. But of course that’s not exactly what they want to hear. They want a story. So, I tell them there were some events that were directly or indirectly significant. The first one happened when I was 15. Something I Had No Name For I took public bus to school then. One day, when the bus stopped at the station, I suddenly snapped out of my daydream, and thought, “Wow… I’m already here!” “What was I thinking about?” I sat there wondering. I couldn’t recall. I remembered getting on the bus and then nothing else until I jerked back onto reality. It was like I lost time. As I reflected on what happened, I recalled that I had lost awareness like that many times before. I wondered, “Can I prevent myself from losing awareness?” So, I began to see how I can maintain awareness every time I took a bus to school. It was difficu...

In  The Snobbish Monk , an article I wrote in 2013, I talked about seeing deeply the root of all my efforts to feel good about myself: a defective sense of self, the idea that I wasn’t good enough. I was trying to feel good about myself because I didn’t feel good about myself. Seeing that was crucial to being free from that stressful pattern, but not enough for me to actually be free from it. I also needed to consciously change the behaviour that was part of the pattern. In other words, I had to choose to stop trying to feel good about myself. Easier said than done. The urge to repeat the pattern came up again and again, but this time I was clear about what’s better for me. A major behaviour I needed to stop was looking for people to help. I recall times when the mind was actively looking for people to ‘save’. Why? So that I could be ‘the hero’ and  feel good  about myself. I needed to catch that urge, and remind myself not to do it. Volunteering to be the hero had gotten...