Wise Awareness (​Kumāra Bhikkhu's Blog)

Negative desires are of all sorts: from extreme kinds that can ruin you and even others, to mild ones such as desire for tasty food you don’t need. Regardless of the intensity, any desire with a negative outcome isn’t a good thing. Dealing with negative desires can be broadly seen as comprising two components: mental settling and distinct seeing. Mental Settling When desire pounds at you relentlessly, mental settling is what you need. For example, if you have a persistent urge to watch porn or buy something you don’t need, just do this: breathe, feel the body and relax. Just keep at it, and the urge will most likely pass. While this method is simple and effective, it cannot remove the tendency to desire; it can only subdue active desires. To remove the tendency to desire, you need distinct seeing. Distinct Seeing When desire isn’t bothering you and your mind is relatively peaceful, it’s a suitable time to deal with desire at a deeper level. Ask yourself, “Why?” E.g., why do y...

I once visited a 19-year-old boy I had never met. He had leukemia. Having gone through two courses of chemotherapy, he had become thin and frail. I found him very much the kind of boy described to me: very nice, soft-spoken, and polite. His father, who was also present, said, “He just needs to do another round of chemo and then do 自救 (some kind of qigong). Then he’ll be okay.” I didn’t respond to that, and talked to the boy instead. I learnt that he, as someone who was conditioned by orthodox Buddhism, believed that his illness was due to some past bad kamma. I however had a different idea. “Apart from your leukemia, are you happy with your life?” I asked. He was silent. “I believe that leukemia has a mental cause. It’s about not getting to live the life that you want. Is there any way that you very much want your life to be different?” Instead of answering my question, he said, “I’ll be studying architecture.” “Okay, and is that what you want?” Again, he was silent. Sensing t...

I was communicating through email with someone with bipolar disorder, a condition with extreme mood swings that include emotional highs and lows. When she was having a high episode, she could spend days without sleep and be super-productive. When she was in a low, she would feel like ending her life. In fact, she was once holding a knife ready to cut her wrist. At one point, she was at a high again. That's when I asked her about her unhappy past. Since she was having a high episode, it wasn't difficult for her to tell me EVERYTHING. She teared while she told her stories through her computer. Interestingly, that somehow "broke the spell". Usually, after a high, she would eventually swing to a low. But that never happened. It wasn't something I expected, much less intended. However, I wondered how that happened. According to mainstream science, bipolar disorder "is a lifelong condition (and) not yet curable". (Source:  Is bipolar disorder curable? Trea...