Tame the Temptation: Strategies to Deal with Negative Desires

Negative desires are of all sorts: from extreme kinds that can ruin you and even others, to mild ones such as desire for tasty food you don’t need. Regardless of the intensity, any desire with a negative outcome isn’t a good thing.

Dealing with negative desires can be broadly seen as comprising two components: mental settling and distinct seeing.

Mental Settling

When desire pounds at you relentlessly, mental settling is what you need. For example, if you have a persistent urge to watch porn or buy something you don’t need, just do this: breathe, feel the body and relax. Just keep at it, and the urge will most likely pass.

While this method is simple and effective, it cannot remove the tendency to desire; it can only subdue active desires. To remove the tendency to desire, you need distinct seeing.

Distinct Seeing

When desire isn’t bothering you and your mind is relatively peaceful, it’s a suitable time to deal with desire at a deeper level. Ask yourself, “Why?” E.g., why do you want to watch porn, or buy things you don’t need? Be honest with yourself.

You may see an underlying issue that has been in you for a long time. Or you may not. In any case, be interested to know. The gross, active desire may be a manifestation of a more important issue you need to deal with.

Right View and Right Attitude

Whenever you’re dealing with desire, you need to have right view and right attitude. Only then are you standing on firm ground. This needs practice. To know how, please read Open Awareness Meditation: a quick introduction.

Conclusion

Dealing with negative desires is both an art and a discipline. It requires knowledge and skill for immediate response and for longer-term self-inquiry. Over time, the practices mentioned above will not only help you overcome harmful tendencies but will also create space for a more purposeful and fulfilling life.

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