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6 Ways You May Have Misunderstood or Mis-practised Buddhism

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Buddhism is meant to reduce—and even end—suffering. Yet, its teachings have been misunderstood and mis-practised as coping mechanisms to avoid facing suffering, thereby preventing its ending. Here are some insidious ways this can happen: 1. Focusing on Making Merit for a Better Next Life Some Buddhists believe they can’t change their present life unhappiness because it’s the result of past karma. They think their only hope is to accumulate as much merit as possible in this life to secure a better next life. This view discourages them from seeking help and making necessary changes to alleviate suffering now. Worse, this mindset has been exploited by unethical ‘Buddhists’ for personal gain. 2. Justifying Escapism Some misuse Buddhist concepts to justify escapism. They call their escapism “letting go” or “detachment”. With that, they avoid difficult conversations, withdraw from relationships, or neglect personal responsibility—creating a false sense of peace. 3. Avoiding Painful Emo...
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Assertiveness as Proper Speech: Finding Your Voice with Wisdom

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Part 1: Assertiveness Aligns with Proper Speech Many people have trouble with being assertive. If you’re Buddhist, you might even regard assertiveness as a form of wrong speech. However, assertiveness actually aligns with the Buddhist concept of proper speech (sammā-vācā). Proper speech isn’t just about not saying certain things—it’s also about saying certain things. If merely not saying certain things counts as proper speech, then someone in a coma would be practising it perfectly. When you should say something but don’t say it, you’ll suffer in one way or another. For example, if a colleague takes advantage of you by making you do their work, what do you do? You might stay silent and keep doing their work. You might tell yourself, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” But is it really okay? Thoughts can lie, but feelings don’t. If you allow things to stay unchanged, you’ll eventually either explode or implode . Exploding means suddenly yelling at the person bullying you. Imploding mea...
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How to Stop Doing Things We Regret

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We’ve all done it before: doing something we regret later. Yet, even if we tell ourselves not to repeat it, we may still do. It might be losing our temper over a minor matter. It might be binging on food or the Internet. It can be anything but has one thing in common: no matter how badly we want to stop, we simply can’t. Do you struggle with this? If so, keep reading. But, if you’re not truly ready to change yet, then better stop reading this and go do something else. Seriously—don’t waste your time. Hmm... You’re still reading. So you really want to stop? The Steps Okay. Here’s how: Identify the triggers. What situations lead to that regrettable behaviour? Write them down. (E.g., having nothing to do, arguing with your spouse.) Find the common thread. What feeling do these situations share? (E.g., restlessness, sadness.) Try to understand the feeling. Don’t just label it generally as “stress” or “boredom.” Look closer— What is this really about?...
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How To Be Yourself

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I’ve written about  the importance of being yourself . In that article, I gave four examples: You’re not feeling confident. Then don’t act as if you’re confident. You don’t know. Then don’t act as if you know. You want something. Then don’t act as if you don’t want it. You’re offended by a joke. Then don’t act as if you’re okay with it. Using these examples, let’s explore how to be yourself. What If You Just Can’t Be Yourself? Firstly, what if no matter how hard you try, you just can’t be yourself? That’s okay. Don’t force yourself to change. Forcing it won’t work and might even backfire. The solution is simple: When you notice that you’re not being yourself, just observe your behaviour and how it feels. Doing this will gradually shift your mindset in a profound way, and the pretending will fade naturally. When that happens, you can come back and read the rest of this article. Regarding the First Two Examples In the first two examples (a...
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Kumāra Bhikkhu's Profile & Teaching Channels

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Teaching Channels Facebook (2-way teaching & announcements) WhatsApp (1-way teaching & announcements) Instagram (1-way teaching) Xiaohongshu (1-way teaching) Mailing List (announcements only) Publications (English & 中文 ebook/ebooklet/ebrochure) English Blog | 中文博客 | 中文文章 Dhamma talk recordings: Spotify  |  SoundCloud Profile Ordained in 1999 under Sayadaw U Revata at the age of 27, Bhante Kumāra (古玛拉) is a Buddhist monk and teacher known for his pragmatic approach to the path of liberation.His spiritual path has been profoundly influenced by two monastic teachers: Bhaddanta Aggacitta Mahāthera , who provided a foundation in the Vinaya, Suttas, and Pāli language, while emphasizing a timeless principle: Value any teaching that leads to the end of suffering. Sayadaw U Tejaniya , who grounded him in the essential right view and...
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Respecting Your Parents’ Dying Wish

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Occasionally, I hear stories like this: An elderly person is in a hospital, saying he wants to go home. Maybe he is sick of being in the hospital, maybe he’s dying and prefers to die at home, or maybe he simply misses home. Whatever the reason, his desire is clear—he wants to go home. However, his children insist that he stays on. If you were that person, how would you feel? In the children’s minds, keeping him in the hospital is better—until he recovers. But will he recover? No one knows. What everyone does know is that he wants to go home. Now, imagine you’re one of the children. What would you do? Suppose you want him to remain hospitalized. Ask yourself: Why? Who is this decision truly for—especially when his wish is clear? Is it really for him ? I understand your hope for his recovery. I understand your fear that his condition might worsen at home. And I understand your fear of losing him. But let me remind you: Death is certain. He will die—either in the hospital, agains...
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Creating Conditions for Better Dhamma Practice in Daily Life

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Have you tried to practice the Dhamma in daily life but found it difficult? While we may say that Dhamma practice can be done anytime and anywhere, in the modern world, finding the mental space for it can be challenging. The good news? We can create conditions to make Dhamma practice easier for ourselves. Here’s how. 1. Simplify Your Life The modern world enables us to do many things, but we may end up overwhelmed by too many things to do. It makes sense to evaluate what’s truly important and let go of what doesn’t truly matter . Doing so minimizes rushing, allowing our minds to be more at ease. 2. Limit Digital Distractions Without a doubt, the greatest source of distraction today is the digital world. While it’s hard to live without technology, we must admit that excessive screen time disrupts Dhamma practice. Set boundaries —designate phone-free hours, limit social media use, and avoid mindless scrolling. Use technology wisely. 3. Set Aside Dedicated Time for Meditation Let’...
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