How Schema Therapy Can Support Your Dhamma Practice

Often, I meet Buddhists who, despite having tried for years to practise Dhamma, remain stuck in unhappy conditions. What gives?

They usually blame it on some past kamma. And some blame it on invisible “karmic creditors” (冤亲债主) who are haunting them. Either way, they don’t see how they can work their way out through Dhamma practice.

Before I get to what they can do, let me state this: Buddhism does not equal Dhamma. The two terms are often equated by Buddhists, but that’s a misunderstanding. Just think about it: There are obviously a variety of “Buddhisms” and they differ, sometimes in contradicting ways. Can they all possibly be the Dhamma as taught by the Buddha?

So, Buddhism cannot equal Dhamma. What then is Dhamma? It can mean a lot of things, but the meaning I want to focus on is being the way leading to the ending of suffering. So, when people don’t end their suffering despite having made effort, clearly, something is missing.

I too was somewhat in that situation. Traditional Buddhist teachings did help me. But I also noticed that certain things just didn’t go away, things that I didn’t feel good about, and could only try to pretend they weren’t there.

Then I met Schema Therapy by chance. To cut the story short, I got the self-help version of it. It’s a book: Reinventing Your Life, by Jeffrey Young & Janet Klosko. The book lets me discover the reasons I had those unpleasant, stubborn issues, and even gave me specific steps to end them.

I knew I should do those steps, but… aaaargh! Can’t they make those steps easier?

As I’ve learnt, the main reason why we can't get out of our unhappy personal issues is because we are not willing to face our issues, especially their core. Despite disliking our issues, we dislike facing our issues even more. More importantly, we may not even know how to face them. And these are the things that this book has done for me: Telling me what I need to do to face my issues, and motivating me to do that. In reading the book, I also learned about how those issues came about.

Frankly, facing was difficult, but when the matter began to settle, I felt very grateful. I even thought, “Why didn’t I do it earlier!”

Basically, what it takes is understanding your issues and taking some steps to break free. I can’t tell you what you need to do specifically, because your condition is unique to you. But I can tell you you’re highly likely to find the solution you need in the book.

CAUTION: If you have traumatic memories, reading this book may stir them up. If that happens, you just need to put the book down and take a walk.

NOTE: Schema Therapy works for mild psychological issues to personality disorders like BPD. For mild ones that almost everyone has, using this self-help book may be enough, while personality disorders need the help of professionals.


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