How to Settle the Mind to Face an Issue

Sometimes, we know we need to face an issue—to say or do something—yet there’s so much resistance within us that we just can’t do it.

For example, you want to tell a colleague to stop passing his work to you, yet you find it very difficult to bring yourself to do it. Every time you think about it, you feel so uncomfortable that you abandon the idea. It may be that you are afraid he will retaliate. It may be that you strangely feel guilty about not sacrificing yourself. Whatever the reason may be, if you want to be able to do what you need to do, the below may be the missing key for you.

The discomfort you feel hinders your need to do what you need to do. So, how then can you lessen that discomfort so that you can do it?

  1. Think about doing what you need to do.
  1. As the discomfort arises, regard it as just discomfort, just a feeling. Tell yourself, “Feeling is just feeling.”
  1. When the discomfort fades away, do Step 1 and 2 again. You will find that each time you do it again, the discomfort is less than before.
  1. When you find the discomfort no longer getting less than before—by this time it should have become a lot less than the first time—you can stop.

Important: Don’t try to get rid of the discomfort, as that will just add pressure to the mind. Just do the steps without expecting any results.

Even if you have done the above many times, some discomfort will remain, but it won’t be much. It won’t be so much that you feel forced to abandon the idea of doing what you need to do.

The remaining discomfort is to be expected, as your mind still believes that it’s somehow dangerous or bad to do that thing. However, having lessened the discomfort that belief has created, you’re now in a position to do it.

When you’ve actually done the deed, you may feel super great! Or, a new kind of discomfort may arise. If that happens, no worries. Just do the steps above again!

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