Why Sunday Dhamma Schools Can’t Help Your Children Become Better People, and How You Can

Around Kuala Lumpur, many Sunday Dhamma schools (SDSs) have become packed and some even have a waiting list. I believe most parents send their kids there because they believe that it will make their kids become better people (and some because it’s free daycare). Yet, again and again, I don’t see that happening. In fact, some kids even become averse to Buddhism because they were forced to attend.

So, why are SDSs not producing the result that most parents want?

  1. More often than not, the teachers aren’t capable enough to teach Dhamma. They themselves may be still in need of learning Dhamma. Many of them are simply pushed into the role because there aren’t enough teachers. They may even be relatively new to Buddhism.

  1. The time spent in SDSs is very short compared to the time spent at home and in school. So, even if they provide good influence, it is weak compared to the influence elsewhere.

So what can parents do to help their children become better people?

  1. Be the good person you want your children to be. Children imitate elders around them, especially their primary caregivers (who are usually their parents). You can’t expect them to become good people when you’re not showing a good example. If you think you’re not a good example, then you need to find your way to be that.

There was a woman whose little daughter regularly followed her to give alms to us monks. After one Chinese New Year festival, at her own initiative, this girl divided her angpow* money to five portions. Then she gave four portions to her four family members, and kept only the remaining one for herself.

  1. Make sure they are getting positive influence in schools. Are the teachers good role models? How are their friends? If you really want your children to become good people, you need to ensure that they are getting positive influence.

I know a man who, when the Waldorf school that his children were attending moved to a place relatively far away, moved his whole family to the same area, just so that his children could continue to attend it.

Note: I’m not against SDSs. They are actually great places for Buddhist kids to socialize (if that’s what they themselves want). Just don’t expect SDSs to do what they can’t.

*Literally “red packet” in Hokkien. It contains money usually given by married people to unmarried ones during Chinese New Year.

 

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