A Man Who Couldn’t Sleep Well for More Than Ten Years

 A woman brought her husband to see me regarding his sleeping disorder.

“When did it start” I asked.

“More than 10 years ago,” he said.

“What major thing happened in your life before this started?”

“My dad died.”

“You felt very sad about it?”

He nodded.

“You cried a lot?”

He nodded.

“You then forced yourself not to cry?”

He nodded.

“And then you had trouble sleeping.”

He nodded, and his wife interjected, “That’s it. That’s why I ban him from going to any wake. Even if he just sees a wake happening from afar, surely for the whole night he won’t be able to sleep.”

With the matter confirmed, I talked to him about death, helping him to see the reality and inevitability of death. He was very receptive.

That was the first and the last time I saw him. But I did meet his wife about a month later, and took the chance to inquire about her husband. She said, “Oh, he can sleep now.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Giving Gifts or Giving Burden?

Image
Lay Buddhists are often taught the importance of giving (dāna)—especially to monastics—as a meritorious act. While this practice is deeply rooted in the Buddhist tradition, it has led to a growing concern: the excessive giving of gifts to monastics, resulting in monasteries having to deal with unnecessary possessions. Monastics do depend on lay people to give them what they need. However, when the giving becomes excessive, it creates a burden for the monastics. Their monasteries can become cluttered with items they neither need nor want. In this situation, the gifts have become a burden. To address this issue, lay Buddhists should be advised to practice wise giving . This involves considering the true needs of the recipient and the potential result of the giving. Instead of giving out of religious piety or a desire to gain merit, one can give wisely. What do the monastics really need? If you want to give but don't know what the monastics really need, you can always ask them. By g...
Read more

Beware of Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing: Protect Yourself from Hidden Personality Disorders

Sometimes I meet people who suffer because they are unknowingly living or working with someone who has a personality disorder. It’s important to be aware of such disorders, as being with individuals who have them can be distre ssing. When we think of mental illness, we usually think of conditions like schizophrenia, depression and anxiety disorders—conditions that are either very obvious or that people usually seek help for. We don’t usually think of another category of mental illness: personality disorders . There are many kinds of personality disorders, but let me speak of two which are not so obvious but surely worth knowing for our own protection: Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) . Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) “Antisocial” here does not mean “unsociable”. In fact, individuals with this disorder may appear highly sociable. They are antisocial in the sense that they are hostile or disruptive to social norms. They lack empa...
Read more

How To Deal With People Who Often Criticize You

Having people, or even just one person, in your life who is constantly critical of you can be very challenging. It’s possible that they don’t know the harm that they are causing. In any case, you’re the one having a problem and so you’re the one to do something about it. You need to find a suitable way to stop being constantly criticized. You first need to find out why they behave this way. There are a few possible reasons: They have a spoiled entitlement schema . They feel entitled to criticize you. They have an unrelenting standards schema . They can’t stand standards lower than their expectations, which they feel are normal and justified. They have a defectiveness schema . They try to feel better about themsel ves by putting others down. If they have a spoiled entitlement schema , your chances of getting them to stop is very slim. The only way they would even consider changing their behaviour, is being under the threat of losing something tha...
Read more