How To Forgive Yourself

I’ve said and done things that I later deemed stupid or bad. Perhaps you have too.

Should we criticize ourselves for these things? I don’t think so. Why? Because my experience tells me it doesn’t do me any good. Worse, it makes me feel bad—and I suppose it makes you feel bad too. But simply recognizing this isn’t enough to stop us from criticizing ourselves. So how do we stop? How can we forgive ourselves?

Forgiveness is about letting go—but letting go of what? The past? The memory? No. It’s about letting go of a belief, such as “I should have done that”, or “I should not have done that”. Do you agree?

Now, try asking yourself: Who do you think you are that you shouldn’t have made a mistake? Some kind of special being that never make mistakes?

Bring yourself back to that situation. Now, instead of being that person that you were then, be an observer and look at that person:

  • How wise was that person?

  • Was that person’s mind composed?

  • Was that person thinking clearly?

  • What thoughts were that person having?

  • What was the situation externally?

Given that person’s state of mind and the situation at the time, is it possible for that person to act otherwise?

And now, consider this: Are you now the same person as you were then?

So ask yourself: Is it fair to blame “the present you” for what “the past you” did?


Note: I’m setting up a place called Spiritual Retreat Centre, where people can step away from the pressures of daily life and devote to cultivating themselves. See https://web.facebook.com/SpiritualRetreatC/

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