The Importance of Being Yourself

You’ve probably heard of this advice: Be yourself. But what does it mean? Are you supposed to look for a “self” to be? Of course not. To put it more clearly, it’s saying, “Don’t pretend to be different from how you really are.”

Let me give some examples:

  1. You’re not feeling confident. Then don’t act as if you’re confident.

  2. You don’t know. Then don’t act as if you know.

  3. You want something. Then don’t act as if you don’t want it.

  4. You’re offended by a joke. Then don’t act as if you’re okay with it.

Does this mean that you should always act out your inner world? No. It simply means don’t act as if the opposite is true.

By the way, this advice also doesn’t mean that you should do or say whatever you want. That’s acting impulsively and recklessly.

So, now, why should we be ourselves? It’s simple: Not being oneself is pretending. And pretending is stressful.

One might say, “In this world, we sometimes do need to pretend.” Yes, sometimes. But that doesn’t take away the fact that pretending stressful. You’ll have to see for yourself whether the benefits of pretending are worth the adverse effects, and whether those benefits are real.

One might say, “If we don’t act differently from the way we are, then we’re stuck; we don’t change.” Firstly, let me explain that this advice doesn’t suggest that you don’t improve yourself. If there are things worth doing to improve yourself, by all means do. What this advice is saying is “Don’t pretend.” In fact, to truly improve, we do need to stop pretending. Only then can we recognize how we truly are. That’s how we get to understand ourselves and work for real change.

One might say, “If I allow myself to be as I am, people won’t like me.” I understand. I was afraid of that too. Guess what? I was wrong! When I allow myself to be real, even more people are drawn to me. More interestingly, doing so also invites others to do the same.

I also found that the more I’m being myself, the easier it is for me to know what truly matters to me. This has led to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Parting Words

The world we live in sometimes discourages us from being ourselves. It can be tempting to just pretend. However, the rewards of being oneself are much greater than one can imagine. Your uniqueness is your greatest asset. So, let yourself be who you are. You’ll be surprised to see how your life will transform.


Note: This advice is not for people with an entitlement issue.

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