From Flirting to Fear to Healing

I met a young woman at a Buddhist center, which she had been to many times to seek help for spirit disturbance. The members there had chanted for her, but it didn’t help, so they asked if I could chant for her. (I suppose they believed my chanting would be more powerful.)

I decided to ask her for specifics about the disturbance, and she said it was like blaming her. I then asked her if she did anything different before this thing started. She said, “I attended a Guanyin retreat.”

“During that retreat, did you do anything that you felt guilty about?” “Yes.”

“What was it?” “I flirted with a monk.”

“And he…” “He flirted back.”

“Then after the retreat you felt very bad about what you did.” “Yes.”

“You criticized yourself.” “Yes.”

“You did that a lot, until it couldn’t stop.” “Yes.”

“So, you tried to push it away.” “Yes.”

“But still it happened, except that it felt like it was somebody else doing it.” “Yes.”

“So, you understand the problem now?” She nodded.

“What you need to do now is to reclaim that voice. Accept it as it is. Don’t reject it.” She nodded.

“What is done is done. It’s over. You can’t change that. There’s no point blaming yourself for it.” She nodded.

So, I didn’t chant for her at all. Instead, I went along with my intuition. I asked her for more information and guided her to understand what was happening. With that, her problem was solved. It turned out that the 'spirit' disturbing her was her own creation.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Giving Gifts or Giving Burden?

Image
Lay Buddhists are often taught the importance of giving (dāna)—especially to monastics—as a meritorious act. While this practice is deeply rooted in the Buddhist tradition, it has led to a growing concern: the excessive giving of gifts to monastics, resulting in monasteries having to deal with unnecessary possessions. Monastics do depend on lay people to give them what they need. However, when the giving becomes excessive, it creates a burden for the monastics. Their monasteries can become cluttered with items they neither need nor want. In this situation, the gifts have become a burden. To address this issue, lay Buddhists should be advised to practice wise giving . This involves considering the true needs of the recipient and the potential result of the giving. Instead of giving out of religious piety or a desire to gain merit, one can give wisely. What do the monastics really need? If you want to give but don't know what the monastics really need, you can always ask them. By ...
Read more

Beware of Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing: Protect Yourself from Hidden Personality Disorders

Image
Sometimes I meet people who suffer because they are unknowingly living or working with someone who has a personality disorder. It’s important to be aware of such disorders, as being with individuals who have them can be distressing. When we think of mental illness, we usually think of conditions like schizophrenia, depression and anxiety disorders—conditions that are either very obvious or that people usually seek help for. We don’t usually think of another category of mental illness: personality disorders . There are many kinds of personality disorders, but let me speak of two which are not so obvious but surely worth knowing for our own protection: APersonality Disorder (ASPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) . Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) “Antisocial” here does not mean “unsociable”. In fact, individuals with this disorder may appear highly sociable. They are antisocial in the sense that they are hostile or disruptive to social norms. They lack emp...
Read more

How To Deal With People Who Often Criticize You

Image
Having people, or even just one person, in your life who is constantly critical of you can be very challenging. It’s possible that they don’t know the harm that they are causing. In any case, you’re the one having a problem and so you’re the one to do something about it. You need to find a suitable way to stop being constantly criticized. You first need to find out why they behave this way . There are a few possible reasons: They have a spoiled entitlement schema . They feel entitled to criticize you. They have an unrelenting standards schema . They can’t stand standards lower than their expectations, which they feel are normal and justified. They have a defectiveness schema . They try to feel better about themselves by putting others down. If they have a spoiled entitlement schema , your chances of getting them to stop is very slim. The only way they would even consider changing their behaviour, is being under the threat of losing something that they want...
Read more